Last post of pre-2011

So hurry up and take advantage of these sweet 2010 wallpapers. Oh, and also, have a happy new year.

Get the "Sticky Duck" wallpaper here.

Get the "Hide Yo Kids" wallpaper here.

Until next time...

Happy Blogday

The Paperbeatsscissors blog is one year old today!

Oh man, did we have some times! We've had adventures. We've felt the gentle and elegant touch of Internet. We rode toward our collective destinies on wings made of the bitter tears shed by those who are not as cool as us. We sold a tee shirt. We gave away like... a buttload. And maybe.... just maybe, we all learned a little bit about ourselves.

So here's to another year made of sexcellence and phresh-to-deathness. To celebrate, here's a little gift for you. That's right, a gift for you, on my blogday. That's just the kind of person I am.



"Aquatic Life" Mac icon set. Download the matching desktop wallpaper and show the world that you are a lover of fine cinema and bearded sailors.

Until next time...

Website updated, more love available.

The Paperbeatsscissors.com website has been updated, which means you have no more excuses for not telling every living person you know to go there.

Check out the new downloads page, where all of the swass free wallpeppers I've made are all available for you to download. Look at them! Aren't they cute? All in a row, like some little ducklings. Ducklings made of excellence.

Speaking of which!

Get the "Aquatic Life" wallpaper here.

Since I'm white, young, and artsy, I'm sort of cosmically obligated to enjoy Wes Anderson movies, so here is a little wallpaper for all you other young urban hipsters. Hop on your fixie and tell the world!

Until next time...

Guess what...

Here's what's up.

Get the "Keep On Grindin" wallpaper here.

Some things you might not have done

Like... vote on this tee shirt.



Or check out some music from my band HAIRCUT.

Listen at myspace.com/thisishaircut

Ok, that's all. Go about your business.

Until next time...

A potential future of non-nudity

Just click that link down there. Don't ask questions. CLICK IT. Quick, your time to make the future better is now.



I know you might be worried that if you give this design a high score, you might accidentally be supporting future super-robots that will try to take over the world and enslave mankind. I know, I worry about that too, but you shouldn't let that stand in the way of your happiness NOW.

As added incentive, here's a delicious desktop wallpaper version of the design for you, the faithful reader.

Get the "Sorry Dave" wallpaper here.

Not only will this wallpaper make your computer look amazing, it is almost definitely not carrying a secret virus woven intricately into the pixels designed to someday allow a powerful robotic consciousness access to your most secret of secrets.

HAHA! Why would that even matter? Clearly, it is a fallacy. I, as always, am hilarious.

Until next time...

New news, that is also late!

Yes, this news is new. It's lateness, however, is old. Almost three weeks old in fact.

I'm sorry. I can't help it that I'm very busy creating excellence with every magical breath I take. The updates you see in this blog are the only physical evidence of my very short breaks in a daily schedule that consists of sketching, Internet, fighting wizards, feeding orphans, more sketching, work, rocking babies, and loving America. If doing all that is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Also, why do you hate America and babies?

Anyway, here's the news:



YES! The Most Excellent and Revered KYOUTAN TOCHI tee is now available to buy. Buy it now, and feel its ancient voodoo wrapping your torso in a soft, fluffy layer of enchantment.

Shirt features:

• Tradition: Imagine you were eating Ramen Noodles while riding Godzilla, dressed as a Sailor Moon character and wearing a Samurai helmet when you get a call on your Gatchaman wristwatch and find out you've just won ten jillion yen. This shirt is still better.


• Loveable Characters: Alice and the Cheshire Cat, but not boring anymore.
  


• Possible Magic Powers?: I think I accidentally trapped the spirit of a Ronin in a few of these shirts, so they may or may not have the secret urge to avenge the death of their master.
  

How could you not want this shirt? Are you stupid? You might not think so, but if you find yourself without the unbearable urge to buy a Kyoutan Tochi tee, you may, at the very least, have some stupid trapped in your brain.

You might want to take care of that now, because the longer it's in there, the bigger it's going to get. Pretty soon you'll have to find some scientists you can shrink down, put in a tiny submarine, and inject directly into your fatty tissue so they can go find the source and laZer it out.

Plus, you don't want to have to worry about them bumping into something important while they're in there, and for the rest of your life every time someone says the word "broccoli" you pee your pants.

Wouldn't just buying a tee be much easier? I think so.

Until next time,