Yes! Another excuse to eat candy!
In recognition of, what some people would call "the devil's birthday" and what others might call "not a real holiday", I'm offering this ultra ripe desktop wallpaper for download! Cower!
Oh man, I just realized I accidentally used an exclamation mark on every sentence in that pre-wallpaper text up there. This post was supposed to be eerie, but now it just looks exciting. You're just going to have to pretend that the exclamation marks are because I'm yelling to you from somewhere in the bowels of some super-sketchy old house in kind of a freaked-out way. And instead of "Download this excellent free wallpaper!" I might be yelling something like, "Don't come down here!" or, "I can't feel my legs!"
And then, it would help if you imagined that you didn't listen to me, but instead followed my haunting screams into said sketchy house, and that you didn't tell anyone where you were going. You think you hear some weird noises, but that was probably just the wind creaking. You're descending the smelly stairs, following the faint sound of my voice, when suddenly the stair breaks right underneath your foot!
Now your leg is stuck. Awesome.
Suddenly you hear heavy breathing, and Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable" starts playing. The distinct smell of low tide fills your nostrils. You look behind you and, to your utter horror, you see the semi-translucent smile of a big... giant...
GHOST SHARK!
And he doesn't have fins like a regular shark, he has like... crab hands... and in those crab hands, he's carrying one of those creepy old baby dolls that goes to sleep when you lean it backwards. He also has a bowl cut.
...And an eye patch.
You try to scream, but you just pee your pants, and maybe poop a little bit too. And as you sit there, he just stares at you with his one, soulless, beady eye, as if to say, "Ha! I know you can't move! I will devour you at my leisure, saving your tender parts for last!"
Can you feel his steely gaze!? It bores into your very soul! It eats crumbly things in the bed of your heart! Fear the GHOST SHARK! Fear him!
Ha. NOW you're creeped out. I'm sorry if you actually did poop and/or pee your pants back there. That can happen when your mind is so entranced.
Until next time...
PBS
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