Rarities, oddities, afternoon teas

Happy 70th post! Oh, wait, you weren't celebrating? Well, that's why we're not friends anymore.

Completely unrelated to the celebration I was having BY MYSELF, here are a few new art pieces based around the idea of a robot manatee.

"That's the best idea you've ever had!!! I am in love with you, and, also, I feel the strong urge to give you large piles of money!"

You're only saying that because you can't see all the nearly one billion and twelve OTHER brilliant ideas that I have chilling together in a hot tub in my brain right now... and because sometimes you say things that I think we all know aren't true. It's time to get help. We all went along with it when you said that one penguin at the zoo was staring at you with "weird" eyes because we felt sorry for you, and also because it was funny. Even though your social disorders are kind of funny, it's time to stop the lies.

Try looking at this truthful manatee art.



I couldn't decide between two styles, so here is a BONUS wallpaper featuring a more different robot manatee.

Get the "Megamanatee" wallpaper here.

Yeah baby.

Until next time...

¡Paper!

Blogsclusive: Blue Bomber Desktop!

I went through all the trouble to make this Megaman wallpaper, and now I don't even like it that much.

POOPY! PEE-PEE! POTTY-DOO-DOO!

Here's a secret tip: At Paperbeatsscissors, we don't waste bad artwork. We replace the word "bad" with the word "exclusive". See? You already feel better! You're not sadly picking up half-chewed scraps from the mighty table of my brain - you're getting something special... look, I even carved your name in it! Yeah, well, it's on the back. It doesn't matter anyway. What does matter is, I made it for you. I made it for you while I was composing sonnets in my head about how sexy you are... or at least how sexy I wish you were. Something like this:

Beautiful blabbering babcock,
I bestow on you this bodaciously badnificent bauble:
Bask in it's bonerocity
And begone

Oh man... Like a shining unicorn tear.

Get the "Blue Bomber" wallpaper here.

Until next time...

¡Paper!

Treats!

Ok, so I was gone again, but this time I have an actual real reason, and not a completely awesome fake reason.

I've been in London for the past week and a half, and it was awesome. Naturally, I blended in seamlessly. Respect.

BUT since I've been gone for so long, here are three wallpapers that have already been available on my website for a long time! Old gifts! Yes! You might not feel special, but you can't be angry. Mostly because if you had just been a little more self-motivated, you could have had these already. I hope you learned your lesson.

Pokémon!

Get the "Charmander Starter" wallpaper here.

Get the "Bulbasaur Starter" wallpaper here.

Get the "Squirtle Starter" wallpaper here.

Catch them all. HA.

Until next time...

Kind of forgot this was here...

Sorry about that.

Here's the Paperbeatsscissors recipe for failure:

• 1 Part loading all of my sexy art into my equally sexy Deviantart



• 2 Parts general laziness



• ½ Part working on new projects



• 3 Parts accidentally getting addicted to Breaking Bad and watching 8 episodes in a row

You can see how equally sexy and non-sexy that is. On one hand, I am awesome, and I'm always up to some rapscillatory shenanigans. On the other hand you, my semi-faithful readers are deprived of the cocaine-laced eye candy you so desperately need a taste of.

So, as a reward for not being a traitor, here are the rest of my Starfox wallpapers that I SAVED for you.

Art dump! Woo!

Get the "Falco In Space" wallpaper here.

Get the "Time For Payback" wallpaper here.

Get the "Slippy In Space" wallpaper here.

Get the "Get This Guy Off Me" wallpaper here.

Get the "Peppy In Space" wallpaper here.

Get the "Barrel Roll" wallpaper here.

Woo! Feeling better? I might have to wipe twice, nay, three times after that art dump. A giant pile of steaming art crap, just for you. Only that crap is made of gold, wrapped in diamonds, and it just did your taxes for you.

You're welcome.

Until next time...

Pray for Japan

Need I say more?

Donate

Get the "Japan" wallpaper here.

Until next time...

Fox McCloud Wallpapers

Am I the only one who played a lot of Starfox as a kid?

I hope not.

Get the "Fox In Space" wallpaper here.

Get the "I'm On My Way" wallpaper here.

Until next time...