Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Career Awesome

I think you and I both know what time it is...

It's time for you to get serious about being awesome. You keep saying, in kind of a whiny tone, "Why can't I be cool like the other kids I know? What do they have that I don't have?" The real question you should be asking is "What do I have that they don't have?"... things like acne, abnormally large eyes, a penchant for standing too close to people when you talk... the list goes on. Then go BACK to your first question and ask yourself what THEY have, which is probably a list containing one single thing: PAPERBEATSSCISSORS. Let me break this down for you:

Paperbeatsscissors isn't so much a place that has awesome tee shirts and makes killer websites as it is a LIFESTYLE. And if you're living the PBS lifestyle, that means you're not living other lifestyles that probably include meth, crying, and regular beatings.

Take these young men for example; Can you spot the one who daily proclaims his love for PBS?

I think you see what I mean. The two children on the left obviously spend 80-85% of their time with their hands either up their nose or down their pants. They're probably well on their way to becoming career criminals, and are generally on the Greyhound bus to Failure Town. On the other hand, the young man on the right obviously has a healthy respect for cats and above average hygiene. These are just a few of the ways you can spot someone who is PBS certified.

I hope this information helps you understand why you suck. We were all getting tired of talking about it quietly behind your back.

Until next time...


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