Do you think you're better than them? I know you have a lot of important sit-alone-in-my-basement-ing to do, but you could at least pretend like they exist. They don't even ask you for change or smell like potato armpits like most homeless people... all they want is a torso to embrace and someone to love forever and ever. It's the least you could do.
Anyway, they're available for sale here.
I have to hurry up and guilt-trip you so I can get back to watching Bram Stoker's Dracula. I've never seen it before, but I already can't understand why it took so long for vampires to become awesome. Why would you want to watch Twilight when you could see Keanu Reeves try to fake a British accent while the camera tries to shoot around Gary Oldman's towering boob hair. Seriously, the guy could keep bees in that thing... and how terrifying would that be? A Dracula that sucks your blood and stings you with trained bees. Oh man... I'll be sleeping with my covers extra tucked in tonight...
And speaking of bone-chilling bad guys:
Bonus art! A sketch of my new soon-to-be-famous supervillain CACTOPUS!
I know, wicked right? Don't feel bad if you just soiled yourself; it's a problem many people your age have. I guess I just solved the mystery of what you're going to be next Halloween.
You're welcome.
Until next time!
PBS
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